One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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