I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
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