My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
