I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
