just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
