talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
