no. you can't hotbox the world.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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