I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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