i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im about as happy as oj after his trial
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I did not marry a roomba.
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