Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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