Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
wow bdsm is so cute
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
