If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
