And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
