So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am mentally ready for anal.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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