You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
