I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
