Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
