i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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