absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
