When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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