Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
