Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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