If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
