I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
