Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
