it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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