I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
