sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
