Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
