Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
