then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
