i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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