Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
