all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
