i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
