You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We have started to decorate penises.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
