brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How's work?
Spinning.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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