Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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