PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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