dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
