doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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