How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
