Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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