Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
