you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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