Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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