Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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