yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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