Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
