We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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